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Since I was young, I was surrounded by social references to the idea of fame and power.  Characters in books and movies are placed within a societal hierarchy, and I often pondered how that defined them.  Through this introspection, I thought long and hard since a young age about what it was that would make me happy.  Furthermore, I started wondering how much success seemed to depend on luck.  Due to the inequity that surrounds us, birth can be both a gift and a curse.  The only logical explanation to why some reach the pinnacle while others keep reaching dead ends is the magical stroke of luck.

Magazine covers, and movie characters are idealized in every society.  The powers of hegemony trample the unfortunate souls that pass by the grocery stands in the third world, happy to have enough water to bring home to their family.  To be completely frank, I developed a mild fascination with the idea of fame and art early on in life.  I wondered why it received so much attention.  Early philosophers and thinkers of today seem to agree that it’s difficult to break free from the stronghold of approval.  People are naturally inclined to praise people who are in the limelight.  It’s an enigmatic force that just draws people in, for better or for worse.  Despite all the noise, I knew deep down that it was equally (if not more) fascinating to learn and develop meaning through ideas, real activities, and connection; to people, places, and things.  This was often why I chose friends who were better than me.  They kept me at the edge of my potential.

I think it was my 7th birthday where I had a party in the wonderful city of Bangkok.  The International School I attended was named: Bangkok Patana School.  It was a British International School that I went to from Kindergarten through year 4.  (In the British schooling system, there are 13 years before university).

My early childhood was therefore developed in a British schooling system, which in hindsight, was quite thorough.  My teachers hailed from all the Commonwealth nations including Australia and Canada, and had a great energy about them.  There was even an International Day where kids went from room to room collecting stamps in the passports from various countries.  This planted the idea of working together as a world, not a nation and I deeply respected that about this school.

Moving on, for this birthday, my Dad decided to take my close friends and I out on the town.  Well, city.  Bangkok, Thailand is hardly a town.  We went ice skating, saw the Adams Family Values in the cinema, and enjoyed traipsing around the mall before heading over to my friend Charles’ house to enjoy the newly born puppies his dog had birthed.  It was a great birthday, filled with international friends who’s parents hailed from Australia, India, Singapore, Whales, and the like.

This birthday is significant, because the Adams Family Values was the first cinematic movie I remember seeing.  As such, it was the first time I recognized how omnipresent a film could be.  The ephemeral quality of film also entered my mind, because I remember seeing a movie poster being taken down and replaced by the Adams Family Values poster.  Christina Ricci was thus my first celebrity crush, and when I moved to the states, we saw Casper.  Perhaps I was developing a dark sense of humor. Who knows?

I digress.  That was the first time I specifically remember thinking to myself about impermanence and the fleeting nature of “success.”  Clearly these movie figures were enjoying their success, but then what?  When it’s all over, it’s all over.  What’s the next goal.  My mind began to take in the world through this philosophical filter, and it’s since expanded into the realms of politics, business and sport.  When somebody wins an election, or a Championship, their goal has been reached; but never without some luck.  For example, I’ve read numerous accounts of accomplished athletes who were the favorite to win, but fell ill or got injured, taking them out of the running altogether.  Can I even ask if this is fair when there are millions more who never had such opportunities to begin with?

Back in Thailand at my spoiled birthday party, my friends Lisa, Caroline, Meenha, Alex, Aaron, Charles were throwing those sticky hands around the cinema parking garage while we were walking towards the entrance.  Those toys were as popular as Body Glove back in the early nineties, and this entire event is a vivid flashbulb memory that I return to every once in a great while.  It’s a moment I won’t soon forget due to the impact it had on me.  I was “lucky” to have been given dual citizenship from birth: American and Thai.  I was also in the company of those who were from Whales, Singapore, India, Australia, Malaysia, and New Zealand.  International schools are one of the few true representations of what it means to exist as a global citizen.  It was a remarkable feeling., and continues to perpetuate my drive to learn as many languages as I can. English: check. Thai: check. Spanish: check…man, there’s so many more.

As a categorical imperative, people would ideally revere each other regardless of status, race, religion, and wealth.  However, because of the perpetuated idea that power, glamour, and recognition are not just desirable but necessary, people don’t treat everybody as equals.  It’s a shame really.  Who’s to say a sheep herder in North Ireland or a coffee farmer in Costa Rica aren’t mentally and physically better off than the Wall Street tycoon embezzling money from businesses to…do what exactly?…look good? This visage isn’t fooling anybody, certainly not me.  The idea of “looking” good and “being somebody” seems to cloud our judgement of what it means to experience happiness.  The Greek philosophers like Plato, Aristotle and the like would be flabbergasted.

My personal point of view on happiness is to exceed your past.  What I mean by that is: I live each day, month and year by thinking about how it is that I can experience something I haven’t experienced before.  Checking items and experiences off my bucket list is what I live for.  It’s a rather existential, choice-based, existence.  But, it suits me well.  Sure, there are aspects that need improvement.  But only improvement in the sense that I will be a more fulfilled person in the long run.  NOT improvement in the sense that I will be wealthier, more powerful or even famous.  Allow me to be cynical. Enrique Iglesias’ father was Julio Iglesias, and Anderson Cooper’s mother was Gloria Vanderbilt.  I enjoy the music of the former and the political critiques of the latter, but in reality, they were part of a family pedigree that undoubtedly helped them succeed.  On the other hand, an Albanian nun took it upon herself to establish over 133 missions to provide relief for the sick, poor and suffering.  Mother Theresa was part of no such pedigree, and I leave it up to you to decide for yourself who is more worthy of being a household name.  At the end of the day, such concerns have proven fleeting and unimaginably melancholic, which is definitely an undesirable state for a “millenial.”

The idea of wealth, and power as a necessity and a goal drowns out passion, and as a passionate learner and experience-er (yes, that’s a term now), it’s tough to push such ideas aside amidst marketing and advertising that suggests otherwise.  It’s been a struggle to join my talents and skill with wealth at times, but I keep thinking to myself, “what on earth am I going to do with all that money when I actually have it?”  I mean, I’m financially secure, don’t get me wrong.  The grass is always greener yatayatayata. Investing wisely is what I do, but honestly, if I ever struck it rich, I would probably build schools, donate a bunch to animal restoration efforts and other causes I believe in because buying mansions and cars just isn’t my bag.  Well, a mansion would certainly be a wise investment, but that’s a different topic.

Material objects are definitely admirable in the sense that they show the potential of invention, but unless I’m an Indie-500 driver (which frankly, wouldn’t be that bad), why on earth would I spend a million dollars on something that wouldn’t have a chance of going half it’s maximum speed without risking my safety? And if it crashes? Bye bye money. Where’s the growth in that?

Speaking of growth, this brings me back to film, and magazine covers.  Money, boats, yachts, private jets. “Poppin’ bottles in the club like a G-six?”  Not everybody cares to be a G (which is what exactly) so what gives?  It’s funny that the 3 most wealthy people on the planet: Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg could have probably cared less about those things in their prime.  Money changes one’s mindset however, but who am I to judge them now? They all did it on their own, and that deserves respect.  I’m sure they have the aforementioned amenities, but their wealth was a product of inventiveness and passion.  Financial freedom is a definite asset, but to work towards it to “be somebody” doesn’t make sense; not to me.  My happiness comes from accomplishment, and hard-earned goals being actualized.  This can be in music, sport, academia, travel, languages, the list can be exponential.  Fortunately, my bucket list is getting shorter, and for that I’m thankful.

My artistic verve is holding me hostage at this one particular item: to make a film, but I trust that my instincts will guide me properly.  Once a bucket list item is checked, if I can find a way to utilize those new-found skills to impart happiness on other, that would be ideal; it would allow me to connect myself to the world in a way that means the most to me.  Perhaps the Peace-Corp workers are rolling their eyes at such sentiment, but give a man some honesty credit.  It must be the adrenaline rush of knowing I finally finished something that took so long.  Similar to the feeling you get after a long run, but better, much better. Cynical side-note: how are “successful” products of their pedigree ever happy with themselves if they’ve been guided through so many open doors without lifting a finger?

Different people have different intrinsic or extrinsic motivational tools.  I’m learning that rewards alone are not satisfactory, it has to be mastering something, and being able to share that knowledge with other people.  Another ongoing problem I face is thinking too much.  Yes, I’m also still trying to live by the “act more, think less” philosophy, but it’s much easier said than done.  Perhaps I’ll be one of those late bloomers Adam Grant speaks of in his book, Originals

So, fast forwarding from that childhood experience, I’ve lived in the states from the age of 10 onward, and have essentially mixed my two experiences together into adulthood to formulate a worldview that’s really quite confusing, and expansive all at the same time.  It’s not just in Hollywood and America where power, success, and the idea of “being somebody” is pushed at us.  It’s a global concept that exists in tandem to Hollywood itself.   It’s also quite a selfish idea, but selfishness is another topic which has it’s own spectrum.  So, I’ll leave it at that.

Hollywood procures ideas that are visualized in a perfect manner on screen to where audiences lap it up and come out of the movies in a dream-state that does one of two things: paralyzes them from reality, or inspires them.  The latter is more beneficial.  If kids watch an FBI agent, or a dancer or musician, and come out of the theater asking his or her parents to enroll them in class, that’s great.  What isn’t great is when kids aspire to be somebody because of the attached material assets that are often included in such “successful” movie scenes.  This is also a poisonous consciousness that is sadly permeating through music.  Because of this, movies and entertainment become toxic instead of passion driven art.  It’s also what makes me long for the likes of Charlie Chaplin, Lucille Ball and Paul Newman.  Those people were truly passionate artists; something very rare in today’s fame-driven business of film.

This leads me towards a prediction.  Film will die out within the next 100 years.  The repetition will just circulate until entertainment becomes so commonplace, people will look instead towards animations and Pixar.  Why continue to put people in rolls when you can just have a robot or animation emote just as effectively?  I’m not saying that acting will die…just film.  Or perhaps it will adapt towards a more ubiquitous medium; an even scarier thought.   Stage, I truly believe, will always have a place in society.  That is of course until robots take over.  Then who knows what will happen?

The irony behind fame and power is I haven’t yet met one actor in Hollywood who’s completely secure with their choice to be an actor, and I’ve lived here for 5 years.  Its quite remarkable really.  Yes, artists are insecure to the Nth degree, but so is everybody else.  Putting one’s own issues aside and attempting to achieve something of great influence and potentially, something that’s a great catalyst for change is the challenge. No matter how successful or recognized you are, because the recognition is never permanent (I mean, when you’re dead, you’re dead), people feel the need to constantly prove themselves.

I wish people would find more courage to step outside their comfort zone or have more gratitude for what they’ve been able to do as a global citizen who’s been given the privilege of choice.  Not worrying about how well known they are.  For example, I post youtube videos to chronicle my experience.  The number of views? They’re humbling, however low. However high.  If I profit? well, I’m not an idiot. I’ll take it, but in good faith, and in stride…and of course give back any way I can.  If people worried more about the quality of their work instead of how many people knew their name, this world would be a much better place.  Furthermore, film may then have a chance.

In summation, I don’t talk over people all the time. I don’t yell commands. I don’t have to speak a mile a minute to show others that my mind is capable of spitting out information, because that’s somehow a prescribed indicator of intellect and I strongly disagree.  If I do speak fast, it’s either go-time or there’s a high stakes event taking place…or I’m on the verge of collapse.  I’m steady, I’m balanced, and I speak from derived meaning and understanding.  In business and therefore in Hollywood, people say what other’s want to hear as a form of manipulation.  A true relationship between two people is founded entirely on how well each one understands the other.  That is the most powerful tool of all. Understanding.  If you can conduct yourself in your business, relationship, family, and life in general with an informed sense of understanding, well…to borrow from Rudyard Kipling’s poem If, “yours is the earth, and everything that’s in it-and what is more you’ll be a man my son.” (or daughter…let’s be inclusive here).  Instead of seeking fame, power, and glory, how about a little understanding? That’s where the real spark lies.

Not famous?

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It’s not always easy, because there are so many interesting things in this world.  But through focus, and passion, work diligently, and purposefully for yourself.  Why on earth would you want to work for a boss who doesn’t like their job, and works for another boss who doesn’t like there’s.  Use your true passion, and success will be emanating from your body; in the truest form possible.

Be well, be healthy, and see you in my next post.

Ciao,

Nattapon Jontom Abbett